There will be a day

It is so interesting and amazing to see how God works. Today I was blessed to have a day off. When I woke up I was feeling very weary. Just discouraged. I went up to see my precious mother in law, Cyndi. I was able to be there when her wonderful nurse came to see her and assess how she is doing. I was able to spend some time with Cyndi as well as my wonderful sister in laws, Kelly and Katie and all my sweet nieces and nephews. I then went to run some errands. I felt God tell me that I needed to go to a specific store. He had a divine appointment for me there. He used this visit to this store to run into a Godly woman that just reminded me of something pretty simple, but so hard to remember and put into action....God is in control. He is in control of Cyndi's time here on earth and her time to go home and be with Him. He is in control of this cancer and of every symptom she is having. He is in control of her pain and He is in control of every little thing detail that is occuring. This has again given me so much peace. Once again He gave me HIS peace that passes all understanding. After doing my errands, I came home and took my sweet dog, Leo on a long run. God used this time to show me exactly what He wanted to teach me. He also used this song by Jeremy Camp to help give me some peace. Hope it can give someone else some comfort and peace as well.

There will be a day

Jeremy Camp

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that trys to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why I sing….

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day, He’ll wipe away the stains, He’ll wipe away the tears, He’ll wipe away the tears…..there will be a day.

An Update

Things are about the same here. My mom's vital signs remain fairly good, but she is on a ton of medications and spends most of the day sleeping. I have become the main medicine giver, and my dad said it is because he expects something from that expensive Baylor education. Mom hasn't really eaten much of anything since last Friday. She remains thirsty and is taking in a good amount of water. We have gotten into a routine and have a sort of temporary normal going on here. As we continue to wait on God's timing, here are some of the things that we are praising God for today:

• Jon has been a huge help with the kids, which has given me time to spend with my mom and with visitors.
• We have received so many meals and groceries and much more from friends, family, and neighbors. We are eating well. Thank you all.
• I am two weeks into my second trimester and have felt so much better. God truly timed this well. If it was several weeks ago, my stomach could NOT have handled some of my current jobs. And if I was more pregnant, we may not even have been able to be here (based on my history of early deliveries).
• The kids are happy and seem to have a good routine going.
• The neighbors loaned Caleb a HUGE train set. He now has a list going of what else we need to buy for our house. :)
• Several days ago Beaufort the dog was laying on the bed with my mom, and he started to act like he was going to throw up all over my parents' bedding. Jon and my dad were quick to action and mananged to grab the throwup bucket that was nearby. Every bit of dog throwup made it into the bucket. It was a bit of comic relief!
• God is giving us endurance, hope, and peace in each moment.

God is good through this trial.

"Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name"

My mom is not able to get out of bed now, and we are sensing that her time is near. The last two nights I have hugged her and gone to bed not knowing if I would see her again. As she continues to have pain and nausea, she told me today that she is so ready to go home. It is hard to say that this is our prayer request, but we know that God is in complete control and that has a plan to use my mom's death in the same way that he has used her life to glorify Him.

We have received many encouraging emails and notes, and I have been printing them and reading them to Mom. She has been a wonderful witness and a discipler of many, and that brings my heart great comfort during this time.

We ask for your continued prayers in these remaining days.

Letting Go and Letting God

Today, I told my mom it is okay for her to die. I have been hoping and praying that she will be here for one last Christmas. But as I have seen the intense pain and suffering that she is enduring, I realized that that hope is selfish. I realized that I need to be hoping and praying that her pain will end soon, whether it is by healing here on earth or by God’s healing hand taking her home. Although, it hurt to tell her it is okay for her to let go, I actually felt an intense wave of peace and calm come over me as we were talking. I know that God is here with us throughout this journey and know that whenever He chooses to take my sweet mom home, He will continue to provide peace and comfort for us all.

 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

Please pray for my mom. She is feeling more and more pain, and they are continuing to up her pain medications. She is having to spend a lot of time sleeping and/or in bed. Her appetite has definitely decreased. In the past week, she has felt significantly worse. Pray for her to be pain free and for each of us (family members) to be a comfort to her. Pray for us to see God at work in specific ways daily. Pray for our hearts as we enter this new phase.

Cancer is so limited

It cannot cripple LOVE
It cannot shatter HOPE
It cannot corrode FAITH
It cannot destroy CONFIDENCE
It cannot kill FRIENDSHIP
It cannot shut out MEMORIES
It cannot silence COURAGE
It cannot invade the SOUL
It cannot destroy PEACE
It cannot quench the SPIRIT
It cannot lessen the POWER of the RESURRECTION

IT CANNOT STEAL ETERNAL LIFE!
(http:www.godswork.org/enpoem173.htm)

Roll Call and Prayer Request

I know that we are all encouraged in knowing that there are many different people out there reading this blog, who care about my mom and are praying for our family. We would love to know who is reading, so would each of you leave a quick comment with your name and location? It is fun and amazing to see God using the body of Christ all across the world to encourage us!

Also will you be praying specifically for my mom's medicine? She has been in a lot of pain lately and has had certain reactions to different medicines. Therefore, the hospice nurses and doctors have been changing up her meds a bunch. So we are praying for her to be getting a proper dose of the right medicine, so she can feel okay. Thanks.