Yesterday we found out that we are having a baby boy. It was a bittersweet moment. I remembered our ultrasound with Abby. I called my mom right afterwards to tell her about Abby being a girl. We were all absolutely thrilled. Of course we are thrilled about our baby boy, but it was sad for me because my mom isn't able to be a part of the excitement. When I got home and told her about baby boy, she just repeatedly said that I didn't go to have an ultrasound done and that I was lying. Then I showed her the pictures, and I think she believed me. But, she kept saying that she couldn't focus on the pictures. I know that she was frustrated that she couldn't quite understand what was going on.
Mom has been more agitated and confused in the last several days. She continually asks me to tell her what is going on. I know that she really just wants to know when she will be able to go home to heaven, but we can't answer that question for her. We try to comfort her and explain why she is in bed and how she is sick. I tell her about what the kids are all doing. Tonight she asked me if Abby, who is one, likes school and then immediately asked what kind of beans Abby is putting in her chili. I guess that brought a moment of comic relief, but these last several days have been really hard. It seems that it isn't just the medicine that is making Mom confused. Her brain must be feeling the effects of the cancer and of not eating for two weeks. She has repeatedly gotten up out of bed to go do something... take a bath, go to an appointment, ect., and she fell down today before I could get to her. We are using a bed alarm, so that we know when she tries to get up.
How I wish our lives were back to the normal that we had before all of this happened. But, I know that God is good. He loves us like a parent loves a child. He cries with us and sees our pain. He also sees that big picture. I know that God is going to glorify Himself, and that He has already done so. So now our prayer is for mom to go home soon, for her safetly as she keeps trying to get up, and for us to have endurance, patience, and strength in each moment. Thank you all for praying along with us. We cherish each prayer on our behalf.
Kelly - I'm so sorry! Please know that we are praying for all of you often and we love you so much! I'm crying with you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your heart, friend. Still praying with you guys.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing kelly. I totally understand. Dad was like this too b/c the cancer had gotten to his brain. We tried to respect him and go along with what he was saying but correct him gently. It's a fine line for sure when they are confused...you just can't take it personally, they obviously are not themselves.
ReplyDeletePraying for ya'll often--love ya'll very much--ej
I'm praying for you all!
ReplyDeletePraying for you all and sending you love.
ReplyDeleteKelly, I can tell you are the big sister. I'm the oldest in my family too. I hope you know that I know how you feel as you are with your mom at this time. Love, Jennifer
ReplyDeleteKelly, First of all...Congratulations on your baby boy!!! That is truly exciting news!!You do not know me, but I worked with Katie for a year at Maggie Cordova and have kept in touch with her ever since. My husband, Kenny Henry, went to high school with you. I just want you and you family to know that my heart goes out to you and that I think about you all often. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I do know that you all have each other to help pull you through this challenging time. Your mother has already left a legacy in this world. No matter what, she will live on through her children and her grandchildren. She will ALWAYS be with you, and at least you can take comfort in knowing that. Kind Regards, Mandy Henry
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