Mom's Journal: Know Christ, Make Christ Known

When my mom first found out that she had cancer, she started writing her thoughts and prayers in a journal. Several days ago, I decided to look through it, and it has blessed me a great deal. In Mom's current state, she is confused and frustrated. She just isn't the mom I have always known. But, in her journal her true voice and person comes out. It has been very encouraging to read things that she has written about her perspective on her last days and on her death.

On the inside cover of the journal, she boldly wrote out Mark 7:37: "And they were utterly astonished. He has done all things well!" I remember her telling me several times in the last months, that God does do all things well and that He will do the process of her dying well. Yes, we all are anxious for my mom to go on to heaven (her especially), but God is doing this well. He is growing our family closer together and teaching us how to serve mom through caring for her.

I believe God desires to use this time in our lives to minister to others. That was a strong topic in many of the things that Mom wrote about in her journal. She accepted her terminal diagnosis with grace and peace because of her faith in Christ alone. This time is very difficult, but God comforts us and gives us peace and endurance because of our faith in Christ alone. It is our desire that everyone who reads this knows that Christ is the answer in life and in death.

"If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved." Romans 10:9-10

My mom continues to ask me when she is going to die, and I have no answer. But, I frequently tell her that God is using her life to show Himself to many. If you don't know Christ, seek Him out. You will not be disappointed. On October 3, mom wrote out this prayer "Let my time left bring more glory to You! Continue to pour out my life that it may be pleasing to You." After her first visit with Hospice nurses she wrote, "Please Father, help me to not pretend to know Your plan for my last days (except that You love me and will do it well), but instead to remember You have my days numbered and will not bring me home one moment too early or too late. Lord God, I lean on you for each day and the time left." There is a reason that Mom is still alive today, and I pray that God will use these tough days to bring many to a saving knowledge of Him.